Wife’s Mental Cruelty Grounds for Divorce

December 15, 2015 at 1:02 pmCategory:Divorce

In the US, not all states adopt the no-fault divorce law. This law eliminates the need to use fault grounds like adultery, abandonment, or mental cruelty to get a divorce. In 2010, New York was the 50th state to adopt this law. However, in some states like Illinois, they make it a little bit harder to meet the residency requirement for a divorce. Because of this, instead of waiting until residency is established, some men file for a divorce with wife’s mental cruelty grounds for divorce, which has shorter residency requirements. Or they can file for irreconcilable differences, mental cruelty and the no-fault standard.

What is Mental Cruelty?

The term mental cruelty is termed in various ways in different states, like extreme cruelty or inhumane treatment, and is defined in different ways by family courts and state statutes across the country. In Illinois, for instance, you have to convince the court that your wife’s behavior created emotional distress, and you did not provoke the behavior. Some of the situations that might provoke her include starting unnecessary arguments, relentless criticism of her capabilities as a parent, taking off at odd hours without explanation, yelling and screaming, and refusing to communicate in a reasonable way. Belittling behavior like correcting your spouse in social situations could rise to the level of mental cruelty.

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How Mental Cruelty can be a Ground for Divorce

Some states do not accept wife’s mental cruelty grounds for divorce, especially if the spouse provokes the cruel behavior. For instance, the husband commits adultery, and it makes the wife angry and does angry verbal attacks, the husband cannot use his wife’s mental cruelty as a ground for divorce. According to statutes in New York the longer the marriage, the more severe the cruelty has to be to get a divorce. But that seems an old-fashioned view. The more contemporary view is that any conduct by a spouse that might result to mental suffering for the other is enough to be called mental cruelty.

Damages Mental Cruelty Can Cause

In some states, mental cruelty is not enough to get a divorce, unless your spouse’s behavior caused you psychological or physical damage. “Grievously wounds the mental feeling of another”, “utterly destroying the legitimate end and objects of matrimony” or “utterly destroying the peace of mind of a spouse in a way that impairs their health or life”, are some of the claims that the court will use to express the standard for psychological or physical damage due to mental cruelty. Using these standards in practical terms, courts in different states have granted divorces in cases when a wife attacked her husband’s character that caused him to be expelled from a private club, when a wife is irresponsible and cannot attend to her household duties, and when a husband proves that his wife submits to abortion.

Proving Wife’s Mental Cruelty

Testimony from the husband is sometimes sufficient to get a divorce. However, there are cases that the court may ask the husband to present a witness that can corroborate his story. If in case the wife’s mental cruelty has caused physical or psychological damage to the husband, testimony or records from his doctor can help him win the case.

Are Men Affected by Divorce Like Women?

July 17, 2015 at 1:08 amCategory:Divorce

Men are touted as the stronger sex. But in the case of divorce, men are just as delicate as women if not more. Though women may appear more distraught over the disintegration of their marriage, men also experience grief.

Unfortunately, men do not express their emotions as freely as most women do. Hence, it may even be told that divorce is harder on husbands than on their wives. Women often have a strong support system in place with family and friends who are ready to console them. On the other hand, men tend to bottle up their emotions.

As a result, the stress and emotions brought on by the gravity of divorce can greatly impact their overall health. In some cases, both their mental and physical well-being are affected.

To date, statistics about divorced men indicate they are at a greater risk of developing serious physical problems. Men become susceptible to cardiovascular diseases and hypertension.

In extreme situations, the effects of divorce on men’s health may even increase the likelihood of suicide. This is attributed to their greater inclination to take part in activities that would endanger their own lives.

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Unexpected Damages to Men because of Divorce

The physical effects of divorce on men’s health are often linked to the psychological distress they suffer. Men also go through depression because of their separation. They become apprehensive about a future without their family. Also, they feel disappointment over the dissolution of their marriage. As a result, they lose the drive to carry on with their life as they used to.

Quite often, men who fall into despair may take up bad habits in an attempt to dull their pain. Excessive drinking, smoking, or worse, drug addiction are more likely to happen. Regrettably, this leads to physical complications like liver disease, high blood pressure, and heart disease.

Insomnia is quite common among divorced men. Their sleepless nights are often attributed to the stress and anxiety about the circumstances of their situation. This is particularly true for fathers who were provided little or no access to their children as per the outcome of court proceedings. The monetary responsibilities that also weigh heavy on them are contributory factors.

A drastic change in weight is also noticeable among men following their divorce. In finding comfort for their situation, they turn to food but end up overeating. On the other hand, some are too upset and lose their appetite altogether. The combination of insomnia and nutritional deficiency may hasten the occurrence of metabolic syndrome.

In addition to the physical pain, the psychological effects of divorce on men’s health are just as harmful. Anger is an emotion that some men bear towards their former partner because of the divorce. Their rage may even be directed towards themselves and lead them to get into something they will eventually regret.

A man’s standing in the community also comes under scrutiny at this time. Men worry about how others will now think about and treat them after the divorce. Their self-worth is shattered at the possibility that others will no longer accept them.

If left unchecked, the physical and mental effects of divorce on men’s health can linger for a long time. Hence, seeking help would be wise for any man in the midst of divorce proceedings in preparation for the next chapter in his life.

Marriage Equality in the 21st Century

April 25, 2015 at 1:52 amCategory:Same-sex Marriage

Marriage equality is a marriage between two persons of the same sex. Also known as same-sex marriage or gay marriage, this term was used by advocates to support legal recognition of same-sex marriages.

There have been early records of same-sex marriage in other cultures. This idea has been acknowledged since the ancient and medieval times, as historical records suggest. However, marriage between same sexes has not been socially accepted by other cultures. Still, on January 1, 2015, countries including France, Argentina, Belgium, Brazil, Portugal, Canada, Spain, and 10 other countries allowed marriage equality.

Issues regarding social, political, and human and civil rights have arisen from the recognition of same-sex marriages. There have been continuing debates on religious issues as to whether homosexuals should be allowed to marry or be given a different status — or worse, be denied of such rights. However, same-sex marriage has gained a lot of supporters and advocates over the past decade and is now slowly gaining the favor and approval of many, as the LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender) community fight for their freedom and rights.

Analysts say that the children of same-sex couples would benefit if raised by parents who are legally supported and recognized by society and varous institutions. Also, disapproving of marriages between gay men and women would welcome public discrimination and differentiation.

Many religions now acknowledge and accept gay marriages, including Buddhism, Judaism, Episcopalians, Quakers, and Wiccans. However, there still are religions that are against same-sex marriage. These include the Roman Catholic Church, Islam, United Methodist Church, Orthodox Jewish Movement, Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and American Baptist Churches. One of the largest religious institutions, the Roman Catholic Church, firmly stands against the approval of same-sex marriage. Their leaders stubbornly abide in their religious beliefs and are strongly discouraging homosexuality, believing that it is against the teachings of the Bible.

The leader of the Catholic church, Pope Francis, stated that the Church should help and support families with gay children but also said the gay marriage is still not acknowledged by the Church and its members.

As of now, marriage equality and the LGBT community are slowly gaining acceptance as the numbers are growing and advocates have come out of the woodwork to support them from all over the world. Even though many of them have experienced discrimination, violence, harassment, torture, and even death in the past, the LGBT community remains firm in their beliefs and fights for what they think is right. They fight for their freedom and acceptance. They fight for equality and justice. They fight for themselves and for others as well, so that everyone lives in this world in peace, recognizing and embracing each individual’s difference and similarities, accepting every person for who they really are and what they really want, and respecting each other’s beliefs and preferences.

Now, more than ever, more and more people are openly welcoming homosexuality and same-sex marriages, as more and more people are voicing out their feelings and opinions. So take heart and keep an open mind — take your stand while respecting what others believe as well.

How To Divorce Your Wife

March 23, 2015 at 1:42 amCategory:Divorce

Before you tell your wife about how much you want a divorce, you should think twice. Are you really ready for a separation? Will this really make you happy? Do not surprise your wife by telling, “Hey, I want a divorce.” Instead, talk about this in a nice and calm way. This is a serious matter. She might just freak out if you blurt it out without thinking!

Before telling her and making things worse, think about what the problem is between you two. Think about the things that will help you resolve the case. Perhaps a little time and space apart is all you need. But if you really are in a dilemma between asking for a divorce and continuing the marriage, you will need to do some soul searching.

More and more marriages are ending in divorce and separation. You might want to ask someone on how to divorce your wife. This is not an easy step. You might be unhappy with your marriage for years now. Some other couples actually don’t sleep together anymore. Perhaps you have the same situation with theirs. You can now imagine what life you could have if you would be freed from this “hell,” as you say. But do you think your wife has the same thinking as yours? If yes, then this would be a lot easier for the both of you. If no, how should you tell her that you want a divorce? Here are some tips how.

  • Take things slow. There is so much time for you and your spouse to talk things over. Do not tell her what you want if she’s pre-occupied or whenever the kids are around. Talk about the problem when both of you are alone — no phones and other distractions. Spill out the problem that you are facing. Tell her in a calm way that you want out of the marriage.
  • Listen to what she says. She may freak out and accusatory words may come out from your wife’s mouth. This is because she cannot accept the fact that you don’t want to settle things for the sake of your marriage. She might tell you how insensitive you are and you may have something to strike back at her but do not say those painful things out loud. Do not defend yourself. Hear her out. She’s feeling a deep pain for telling her how unhappy you are in your marriage.
  • Consult legal advice. It may sound sneaky but you will need the advice of a professional on how to best bring up the topic to your wife. You can get the advice of a divorce lawyer on the best approach on how to divorce your wife — and that includes telling her that you don’t think the marriage is working out anymore. Plus, your lawyer will give you a pep talk and the right words so that you are able to deliver your message effectively to your soon-to-be ex-wife.

Understand the fact that for the first few weeks or months, she may be unable to accept the fact that nothing could mend your marriage. You may even second-guess your decision. So use your spare time to think if you really want a divorce before it’s too late to settle the mess.

Questions to Ask a Divorce Lawyer

February 23, 2015 at 12:52 pmCategory:Divorce

After deciding to finally begin the divorce process for you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse, you should be able to find yourself a lawyer to get things done easily and with accordance to the law. There are a lot of options out there and you could ask for referrals to help you find a lawyer who can handle your divorce proceedings.

However, there are a number of factors to consider before getting a lawyer. You should learn what questions to ask a divorce lawyer before hiring one to represent you. Remember not to hire the first attorney you have met. List down every option you have.

Questions to Ask a Divorce Lawyer

Don’t be fooled if a lawyer offers you cheap attorney fees. You should still do your part: Check out his or her qualifications and experiences. You should be able to see how these fees compensate fairly with his or her professional service. To help you determine which among the list of attorneys you should hire, here are some questions to ask before signing a contract:

  • How many family law cases have you handled and how many of these have you resolved out of court? This question will give you an idea of how capable your potential lawyer is in winning the case.
  • How would you resolve my case? Do you have strategies to get it done easily? It may be similar to the above question but this one asks about your lawyer’s intellectual and cognitive skills.
  • What is your availability? Can I communicate with you via email or phone anytime and/or if an emergency arises? This is to make sure that in any case of emergency, your attorney would be available to meet with you right away.
  • Will anybody else be handling my case? Can I meet them? What are his or her experiences in handling such cases? If the lawyer has a team of paralegals, you will need to meet them as well to see if you will work well together.
  • How will you work for my case? Do you have a heavy workload? Will you be able to focus on my case as needed? If the lawyer has a lot of clients, you may not be sure if he or she can concentrate on your case.
  • How much is your rate? How would you charge me for this case? How much is your retainer fee? Ask this question so that you will be able to prepare the money and to check if you are being fairly charged by the potential lawyer.
  • Are there any other costs (aside from your professional fees) to be included while you handle the case? What are these and how much would I pay for it? In some cases, your attorney would need the help from other professionals like investigators, psychologists, and more. You would need to ask this question so you would not be surprised if additional fees come your way.
  • Can I meet with my spouse for a direct negotiation? This interview question is crucial — it will show how your lawyer handles divorce cases and how “protective” he or she is of his or her client.
  • How would I cut down on my divorce fees? Is there anything I could do to help you so you can cut down the amount of your professional rate? If there are things you could do on your own, like reaching out for your spouse for some questions, tell him you could do it personally so he or she would lower the compensated fees.
  • Would you help me understand some lawful terms? Would you need some of my opinions for a strategy? Would you provide me the copies of filed documents from the court? Make sure that the lawyer would attend to you and your questions as often as they can. They should be able to provide you the documents you need to review to update you how the case is progressing.

The legality of divorce varies in different counties and states. The laws that cover family cases are sometimes hard to understand, but your lawyer should understand them well enough to explain them to you in terms that you WILL understand. Check their qualifications and experiences carefully first before signing the contract.

Common-Law Divorce — When Is It Necessary To File For One?

January 15, 2015 at 1:36 amCategory:Divorce

It is best to consult a lawyer if a common-law couple is considering a divorce. Experts can explain better what the couple needs to know about common law divorce. Problems could arise because it depends on how formally the couple declared their marriage and if they are relationship is really considered as common-law marriage.

Only a few states in the US allow common-law marriages. This practice began when the population was little and people who wanted to get married were not able to reach a judge or a minister.

 While the idea sounds bizarre, the couple should really know that they are common-law spouses before they will be legally required to go through a divorce.

How To Be Considered As Common-Law Spouses

 For a couple to be considered as common-law spouses is a bit complicated and more difficult to prove in court. This process involves four things. Lawyers for family law would most probably be necessary to determine if the couple actually qualifies for this method. Before seeking a divorce, a lot of cases must be proven in court because it can be difficult to prove if one of the partners disagrees with any of the steps.

 First and foremost, the couple has to be over 18 years old. Second, each of them has to consider only one residence as their primary home. Third, they must present themselves to other people as husband and wife. Lastly, they both have to consider themselves as a married couple.

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Proving Common-Law Marriage

 The problem arises when a couple wants to break up and one of them files for a divorce, but the other says they believe they are not married. It may be hard to prove, but lawyers for family law are skilled at discovering the truth and may help. They would explore everything to prove their case. If the couple purchased a land, took out a loan and/or an insurance policy, filed taxes together, and listed the other as their spouse, then those could be used an evidence of their marriage. Moreover, if they have made known to other people that they are married, it may be grounds for common law divorce.

 The last thing to determine is the date of the marriage of the common law couple. This date means all of the aforementioned steps have been completed. Determining the date could be difficult, but a good lawyer could definitely help.

 To protect the couple from the vagueness in the eyes of the law, it is wise to take legal action. If the couple consider themselves married, then they can complete a document and swear to be married. If they want to guarantee that they will not be considered as a married couple and a common law divorce is not necessary once they decide to break up, then they might want to go into a legal contract NOT to be married. In any case, a lawyer whose expertise lies on family law can help the couple with the necessary legal actions.

How to Divorce Without an Attorney

December 19, 2014 at 1:50 amCategory:Divorce

Many people have gone through a long and horrible divorce process, but some have made it without much trouble. Various things cause the outcome of the divorce, including the behavior of the people and the significance of the matters involved. At times, how much the couple relies on lawyers and courts to settle complicated issues can also be a factor. Normally, the more work the lawyer does and the more often they go to court, the greater the emotional and financial toll. However, is there a way to avoid the courts and get a divorce without an attorney?

Making Divorce Decisions

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Ideally, it is usually best if the couple can resolve their problems together, perhaps with the assistance of an unbiased third party like a mediator. They can be in control over important issues such as how the children will be raised, how money will be divided, and what will happen to their family home. If a couple could work these issues on their own, they can save themselves money, time, and agony. More importantly, the children would not have to suffer through this whole ordeal of their parents’ divorce.

If the couple is able to decide on the important matters, they would have to acquire from the court a written divorce judgement. It is a piece of paper declaring that their marriage has ended.

Finding the Right Divorce Attorney

When a spouse is angry or emotionally troubled, handing over all the aggravation of a divorce to an attorney might seem like the best solution. Sadly, it does not always make things easier. It is all about the attorney, so it is very crucial that the spouse finds the right one. If they seek an attorney’s help, but still want to keep their divorce civil, they must hire an attorney who can support that. Attorneys function under a major directive — pursuing the interest of their clients. Therefore, the spouse has to make sure that they let the attorney know that their interest is to have an amicable divorce, and must insist on getting one through their lawyer’s help.

Hiring a Divorce Attorney

A divorce without an attorney might not be best if there is an issue about abuse — be it spousal, sexual, substance, or child. In these circumstances, it might be difficult for the abused spouse to effectively settle, so an attorney could help set up the necessary protection for the abused spouse and/or children.

It is also advisable to hire an attorney if the other spouse is being deceitful. Moreover, if the other spouse hired an attorney and the couple has children or they are dealing with complicated financial matters, then the spouse must also hire an attorney of his or her own.


A Divorce Mediator Can Help the Couple

Going through a divorce without an attorney is possible with the help of mediators. The couple can negotiate and end up with a sensible divorce settlement that meets both of their needs. Unlike attorneys, mediators can work with the couple at the same time. They do not represent the interest of any of the spouses like an attorney does. Instead, mediators help the couple decide so they can come to an acceptable agreement.